Build your support system without being a PITA.

Men and women are wired differently and by know it! We not only admit it but also understand how to work our ways around it. Men and women form connections differently, whether at work or in social life. While men have a more “Oh! Bro!” kinds approach, women [let me put this: largely] have, “Oh! No” kinda approach. The nexus of men is more supportive with each other, whether or not they can truly provide any helps, when needed. Whereas, the nexus of women, either rarely exists (especially at the workplace), or is a PITA (pain in the ass) in social settings.

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Well, thankfully, I do have a strong nexus of women, consisting of supportive family members, close friends and even colleagues who are always there, either to lend a shoulder or an ear or simply just be there. Building a support system is crucial to one’s success, whether at work or in life. I am not an expert on this topic though but I am definitely a keen observer and have been a researcher. I had to write about this. You’ll read why. When a client of mine approached me with a critical question, I knew I had to write about it.

This lady wanted to improve her performance through coaching in communications skills. She felt that she needed to hone her personal and professional negotiation to ensure that she was “heard,” that she was understood, ” so that she stood out with her leadership & domain skills. She felt that she was unsupported in a male dominated environment. She also felt that her female colleagues were either too consumed to competitive to climb the ladder or were extremely “negative (or should I use the B-word) to other women.”

Building and staying connected to a support system come naturally to most men, whether at work or even social life, however, it hasn’t been the case with women. Building a support system is crucial to one’s success, whether at work or in life. I am not an expert on this topic though but I am definitely a keen observer and have been an experiential researcher. I knew I had to write about this! Especially, when a client of mine approached me.

Whereas, a close nexus of women, either, rarely exists (especially at the workplace), or is a PITA (pain in the ass) in social settings. C’mon now, admit it, we almost pull each other apart. It is sad but so true! 😦 Nevertheless, here, I must admit and slightly brag that I’m thankful for having a strong nexus of women, consisting of supportive family members, close friends and even colleagues who have been there as my strength in times of need or just emotional support. I value people just being there and I love being there for them too, it is a two-way process for sure. It doesn’t happen in s short span of time. It is a win-win, and time-consuming process of building your support system.

Building a support system is crucial to one’s success, whether at work or in life. I am not an expert on this topic though but I am definitely a keen observer and have been a researcher. I had to write about this. So here are some really simple, effective and of course, tried and tested ways of building your supportive network.

  • Evaluate what you can bring to the table, warmly: Mostly, when we are in need of care and support, we need to first understand we need to give, first. Of course, all things in the world are good healthy transactions. What I mean to say is, you give love and get love, do well and get well. It is true. Even though sometimes, this may not happen and it may not be a win-win situation but that’s the thing, aren’t we better than that? We know we’re the leaders who can initiate something, a change in pattern or situation with a simple good gesture on our part. Isn’t it? This brings me to the next point.
  • Always think of how you can better yourself in any situation: Trust me when I tell you, we have scope to grow and be our better versions, every single day. No one likes that person, who thinks, he/she knows it all or is perfect. Because none of us are! It is a failing game to think and act that. Trust me when we stop doing this, not only do we bring in positive energy in our life but also a better perspective. We know we can always be better in any situations.
  • Leave the prejudices somewhere behind: This one is a toughie. Trust me, I came with my own set of baggage,. I had loads of prejudices, whether cultural, social, or economical. We need to get rid of them and it isn’t easy. It isn’t a day’s job or even like a switch, it takes time but conscious efforts in this direction really, truly help.
  • Speak with your heart: I know when you speak with your heart and communicate what you truly feel, you are in a better position to form connections, in fact for a lifetime. As Brene brown describes it, this is a vulnerability and it is crucial for us to explore that within us and in every individual. Brene Brown said, “Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen… Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.” It is a gift and we need to be more accepting of others when they approach us, first.
  • Get rid of those expectations or communicate them genuinely: It’s tough but trust me it does you more good than damage. I am not asking you to be unsmart and accept any random s**t but come from a place of empathy. Of course, you will have certain expectations for yourself, and others but then ensure you have communicated them effectively. No one is sitting in our heads or reading our minds.

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I’d love your reactions on this. So put it in the comment below, what do you think about building connections for support and sustaining them, how do you go about it?

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My posts are a labor of love and I really hope you get value out of it. I would truly appreciate if you shared it with your friends, family, or across your social media. Share away! And also BECOME AN INSIDER. Sign up to get the free resource, YOU’LL LOVE IT.

Copyright, 2017. http://www.priyankachopraumrigar.com

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