How to measure your trade-offs in work-life balance.

A coaching client of mine asked me a pertinent question the other day, “aren’t there so many trade-offs” in work-life balance?” She sincerely asked me, “Don’t you think that we can never achieve this so-called balance of work and life. One always weighs more than another. It is frustrating to even try to “balance” it.” I agreed and I disagreed. I asked if she’d follow my blog this week, for a response? “Of course,” she said and agreed. So, here’s my story.

iStock_000025928475Small-1-1024x614_c

I was a manic workaholic, going back ten years, during my publishing/media days, I’d work till wee hours in the night, up till early mornings, sometime. This went on for 4-5 years. I would work for 18-20 hours in a day and come back to work again the next day, by 8! I didn’t bother or have any understanding of what LIFE meant. I ignored my social life and any form of self-care. It didn’t matter. I was interested in getting the work done, gaining experience, and of course making the money (this was almost 10 years back). However, if I move the timeline to 6 years back, I had chosen a job, which I felt would consume less time and allow me a buffer for myself, my family, and my friends. But that didn’t happen!

Even though my work hours reduced, I was still continuously working at a stretch of 8-12 hours a day, six times a week. And while this was happening I was also doing my doctorate, which is very important to me. I struggled to strike a balance between work and personal life then. “It was frustrating!” It took a toll on my health. Finally, I was craving downtime and even some time off the “work routine.” I’ve always been a good multitasker with the self-inflicted go-getter attitude. I could manage work, my doctoral education, my household chores without any help until it hit my performance and health. The physical and mental stress consumed my body. I had to weigh in my priorities.

Eventually, I made the decision, calculated all my odds… and then left my well-paying job. Of course, I had to pay my bills and earn my own money too. So, I had to hustle more and life has been far from easy. I had to trade-off a good paying job, to my micro-business, for less money and more control over my time. It allowed me to pay more attention to my doctoral program, my health, and of course to do something that I truly, truly, love, which is my human performance coaching practice (I get to help so many people in the bargain).

It has been two years since then that I’ve Continue reading “How to measure your trade-offs in work-life balance.”

How to be compassionate to others, who may be “douche.”

A couple of months back, a coaching client of mine, (an awesome human being, a lovely leader, beautiful businesswoman)… asked me a pretty genuine question. She said, “Priyanka, how can you be “nice” to someone who clearly hates you?” I looked at her for a bit and asked? What exactly happened. She told me, “I have a few folks in my social space, who continuously try to undermine my efforts and think no end of themselves. Recently, I had some big wins with a few personal and professional projects and I got some crazy flak, for reasons I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND. Some even went behind my back to inquire if, I was actually putting in the work to have the wins or was I just flaking it.” I hugged her and told her to “shake it off like T-Swift.” We both laughed about it… but then I shared my own story with her.

CompassionTE

Of late, after bringing in a lot of changes in my life and work… I’ve been receiving a lot of flak from various sources. Often I receive indirect flak, regarding my work, my social posts, my workouts, and some other efforts that I’ve been consistently putting towards my own well-being. To give you an example, a person followed me on social media, only to criticize me (I wondered, why would anyone “opt-in,” in the first place if they don’t like someone). Another one was, regarding my fitness journey, a girl who follows me on Instagram, actually went to “check on me” with my trainer, if I was actually doing the work because it felt too good to be true. My trainer and I laughed so hard! It was hilarious!!!! I know!!! But these things happen. People’ve got enough time to NOT do the actual work but condemn those who are actually putting in the effort in different spheres of life.

Of course, by now, we know that these are just the naysayers, the ones who barely produce anything of their own but are the first ones to criticize the efforts of others, for whatever personal reasons. Even though there are many who would genuinely compliment and be happy for you, some can’t be nice. And it is the quintessential human nature to get affected by the naysayers and dwell on it. As Robin Sharma’s puts it, “leave the culture of mediocrity to get into the club of mastery.” As powerful as it may sound, it is quite difficult to practice. And those who do practice it to embrace a positive change, it may not be appreciated by many other. Let’s face it, people don’t respond to change very well.

Nevertheless, we do know that there are manyyyy who would genuinely compliment and be happy for us, for all our hard work and effort… So in this case, there are two kinds of situations, things we can control and things we cannot control. The things we can control are Continue reading “How to be compassionate to others, who may be “douche.””